No olvidemos que las heridas que se reabren duelen
el doble. Prolongar una relación
sexual después que la afectiva ha muerto, no es lo más recomendable y es
probable que estos encuentros estén motivados exclusivamente por la necesidad
de intimidad cuando no hay nadie más para llenar ese vacío. Sin embargo, esta
actitud puede ser malinterpretada por una de los dos partes como un signo de
reconciliación. Y cuando esa expectativa no se cumple, llega el dolor.
“Seguir teniendo sexo con alguien que no funcionó
como novio, suele ser una señal de que no puedes dejado ir. Cuando los vínculos
sentimentales son adictivos, intensos o se le tiene mucho miedo a la pérdida,
desengancharse cuesta mucho.
Para muchos tener sexo con alguien del pasado suele
ser más cómodo que buscar una historia nueva: hay una conexión emocional previa
y ya están acostumbrados al cuerpo del otro. “Pero eso no quiere decir que no
sea complicado, pues a veces inconscientemente, uno de los dos puede estar
tratando de retomar el amor y piensa equivocadamente que la cama es el camino”.
No hay que olvidar que hubo motivos para dejar de
ser pareja. ¿De verdad quieres volver a intentarlo? Coquetear con los
conflictos del pasado puede ser duro. Además, al ya no estar en una relación
comprometida, significa que no hay “incentivos’” para cambiar, por lo que
todas las cosas que te molestaron o dolieron pueden incluso incrementarse.
“Lo ideal sería que esto no
importara en absoluto… o sea, que te dé lo mismo ese chico(a) que un
muñeco (a) inflable. Pero cuando hemos estado vinculados sentimentalmente a
alguien lograrlo es más que difícil, salvo que seas tan frío(a), lo más
conveniente es decir NO. Las heridas viejas que se reabren duelen el doble”.
Por otro lado, seguir teniendo sexo después de una
ruptura, puede servir para que los dos atraviesen un período de transición
hasta la separación definitiva. Pero es necesario que sean claros sobre por qué
están haciendo esto y qué es lo que esperan conseguir, lo cual quiere decir que
tienen que sentarse y hablar… aunque esa parte no sea tan divertido, lo ideal
es dejar las cosas en claro, para que nadie salga dañado.
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